Hers
by Nessarie
Summary: A few weeks after the battle with Drago and his Bewilderbeast, Astrid finds Hiccup overworked, ill, and - in typical Hiccup fashion - refusing to allow anyone to help. She snaps and lets her husband-to-be know that he hasn't been the only one suffering.


➳ _I've had this chillin', half-finished, in my documents for over a year now. With the completion of Race to the Edge and the looming release of HTTYD III ahead of us, I figured that this would be a good time to finish this piece up and post it for you all. Enjoy!_

 **Hers**

When Astrid finally found Hiccup, it was well into the wee hours of the morning, when the sky was at its darkest and the stars at their brightest. Hiccup was slumped over his desk in the back room of the forge, dead to the world and drooling across what looked like sketches and plans for additions to the Great Hall and repairs to village houses that still needed to be done.

It had been several weeks since the battle with Drago and his Bewilderbeast, and Hiccup had given his new role as chief everything he had. All his previous fears about being chief seemed to be for naught as Hiccup was nothing short of a hero in the eyes of his people. Hiccup was reliable, fair, intelligent, and everything a great chief needed to be and more.

Astrid, however, could see the strain it was taking on him.

While Hiccup could talk the talk, so to speak, he could not necessarily walk the walk. However much he put on a brave face and said he was fine when asked, Astrid could see the deepening bags under his eyes and the paler than usual complexion on his face. She could also see that, when Hiccup thought no one was looking, he leaned his weight heavily onto the nearest dragon – usually Toothless, but not always – or object. Astrid also noted with growing concern that Hiccup's usual limp because of his prosthetic leg had been becoming increasingly more pronounced, especially in the last week.

Astrid had meant to confront Hiccup and basically force him to take a day to himself, but when she had gone to his house that evening, she had been met with Valka, who had informed her in no uncertain terms that Hiccup was already in bed and that it would be best if Astrid went back to her own home for the night as well. It wasn't that Valka disliked Astrid, or vice vera – in fact, the two women got along quite well – but Valka was not used to the dynamic between her son and his lady.

Losing Stoick and gaining Valka had been a huge adjustment for everyone, but especially Hiccup, and by closest extension, Astrid. Hiccup's father and Astrid's parents had never put restrictions on Astrid and Hiccup's relationship as most parents did with their courting children – partly because they had trusted Hiccup, if not Astrid, to maintain a respectful status when they were alone together. Mostly, though, they had known that if Astrid and Hiccup really wanted to be alone together, all they had to do was jump on the backs of their dragons and fly off to one of the many deserted islands that only the two of them knew about. True, anyone with a tracker class dragon could have scented them down, but Hiccup and Astrid had been proven trustworthy time and time again, so there was no point. Heck, they had lived alone with the other dragon riders with no chaperones whatsoever for nearly a year and a half on Dragon's Edge and no one had turned up unexpectedly married or pregnant.

Well, there was that whole marriage debacle between Fishlegs and Ruffnut, but that didn't really count, as it had only lasted a day.

Still, Valka was uncomfortable with Astrid and Hiccup being alone together before they were married, especially after dark, and so Astrid had acquiesced… only to run around to the back of the house and climb up to Toothless's roof hatch that opened into Hiccup's bedroom once Valka had shut her out. Toothless had been there, curled up on his rock slab, on his way to dreamland, but Hiccup was nowhere to be found. Toothless had lifted his head and offered her a sweet nuzzle, but otherwise did not seem to be too concerned about his missing rider.

Thus, the search began. Astrid had looked everywhere – the Great Hall, the stables, the armory, even the forge earlier in the night, though she had failed to check the back room at the time. She had really started to get worried and was considering whether or not Hiccup would walk down to the cove when she had checked the forge again, just in case, and noticed the flickering light coming from under the closed door leading to the back room.

"Hiccup," Astrid spoke softly, running her hand through his tousled hair. She frowned as her hand registered an unnatural heat coming from his skin. A fever. Of course.

"Hmm… wha?" Hiccup mumbled, slowly blinking into wakefulness. He suddenly gasped and quickly sat up, his eyes still unfocused. "I'm awake, Mom! I was just – oh, Astrid!"

Astrid laughed as she watched him relax at the sight of her, and it touched her to know that she was the only one – well, the only human, anyway – that he felt safe enough to let his guard down around.

"I fell asleep," Hiccup admitted, somewhat bashfully. He reached up and pulled the Great Hall plan from where it was sticking to his face. "Bork Week is in a few days and the repairs and additions to the Great Hall need to be finished by then. With everything that's happened recently, the village needs—"

"You have a fever, Hiccup," Astrid interrupted, taking the plans from him and putting them back down on his desk. "The only thing you need to do is take some time to rest."

Hiccup gave her a guilty look, which clearly showed that he was aware of his declining health, but was ignoring it. "Astrid, there's too much to do right now to rest. I—"

Hiccup had twisted in his chair toward Astrid as he spoke, but broke off with a pained cry and grabbed at his bad leg. Astrid pushed his hands away and bent down to unbuckle the straps holding his prosthetic in place. He mumbled pained curses, but otherwise didn't protest the removal of his fake leg.

The piece was still fairly new, only having been made a few months prior, and it was truly a marvel that had many of Berk's numerous limbless residents asking Hiccup to make versions for them as well. His original prosthetic, which had been made by Gobber "with a bit of Hiccup flare," had finally outgrown Hiccup's needs as he continued to modify Toothless's flying rig. Plus, the design of the original prosthetic was crude and Hiccup was too stubborn to take the piece off every night, as he should have. While there had been a cavity carved in the wood for Hiccup's stump, the dip was ill-fitted and he often developed sores and blisters. The new design that Hiccup had developed was much improved, as he had used wax to mold the shape of his stump and then used a combination of ceramic and metal casting to form a prosthetic that would perfectly fit what was left of his leg. Hiccup could wear the prosthetic leg for longer periods of time now, and he developed sores much less often than he had previously. However, that wasn't to say that Hiccup was now immune to the side effects of wearing a prosthetic limb, especially if he had not been taking care of it like he should have…

…which was proven the case as Astrid finally managed to pull the prosthetic off with more difficulty than there should have been. She stopped herself from gagging but could not help the disgusted and horrified look that she knew must have crossed her face.

"Oh, my gods, Hiccup," Astrid gasped, horror and anger welling up in her chest that was no doubt expressed in her voice. She forced herself to look away from his mangled leg and into his face. Hiccup grimaced at the sight of his own leg.

"I think it might be infected," he admitted quietly, his voice laden with guilt and exhaustion.

Astrid gave a derisive snort, rolling her eyes. "Well, that's obvious." His amputation was swollen and the flesh was nothing but one huge open sore, green and yellow liquid oozing in some places, and the rotten scent of infection was lingering close to the skin. "Didn't you wash it and apply some medicine when you took it off last?"

Hiccup did not grant her an answer, picking up his prosthetic to take the blood and pus soaked wool packing out of the fitting. A new, dawning horror spread through Astrid as she read into his silence.

"Hiccup," Astrid addressed her intended, forcing herself to remain calm, despite what she suspected his answer was going to be. "When was the last time you took your prosthetic off?"

Hiccup sighed, casting her a guilty look, and he could not quite meet her eyes as he answered her. "I'm not sure," he paused, looking more exhausted than she had ever seen him. "Before… everything."

Before everything. Everything. Before…

"Oh, my gods," Astrid gasped again, giving Hiccup an absolutely horrified look as she realized what he meant.

Everything. As in, everything that had happened. Before the fight with Drago. Before finding his mother. Before… before Stoick had died. And Hiccup had been on the move since then – the fight, becoming chief oh so unexpectedly, the repairs to the village, walking, running, riding, and all that weight and stress directly on his bad leg, without rest…

"I haven't had the time," Hiccup said, clearly reading the realization and distress on her face. "I honestly didn't even notice any pain that was more than normal until a few days ago, but there's been so much to do, and—"

"Shut up!"

Hiccup jerked back in pained surprise as Astrid shouted at him and punched him hard in the arm. "What the— Astrid, what—"

"Just _shut up_!" Astrid shouted again, though she held herself back from punching him again, silently reminding herself that her stupid husband-to-be was already in a lot of pain without her pummeling him. Still, she could not control her temper and her mouth as well as she could her fist. "How could you be so stupid and irresponsible?!"

Hiccup winced at the anger in her voice, but he was still avoiding looking into her eyes. "I know, I'm sorry. The village needs me to be at my strong—"

" _Forget_ about the village, Hiccup!" Astrid screeched, her voice coming out more than slightly hysterical. Unbidden, an image of tons of ice popped into her head, the echo of his horrified yell in her ears, Valka pounding at the ice, screaming her son's name in grief and terror. With the image still imprinted into her mind's eye, Astrid pursed her lips and grabbed Hiccup roughly by his upper arm and hauled him out of his chair.

"What the— Astrid, stop!" Hiccup wobbled on his good leg, leaning back to grab for his prosthetic that was sitting atop his desk.

" _Leave it_."

Astrid didn't know if it was the dangerous tone of her voice or the equally as dangerous look on her face, but Hiccup immediately stopped his struggles and allowed her to pull his arm across her shoulders. With only a little difficulty, she began to half lead half haul him toward the door and out into the forge.

"Astrid…" Hiccup spoke softly, offering a token protest to her manhandling of him. Her mind, however, was still assaulted with the terror that had gripped her when that terrible moment of ice and pain had occurred, and so she responded only by jerking him forward, causing him to stumble and brace more of his weight against her.

"I have medicine at home, and I'll dress it for you," Astrid replied, not giving him a chance to protest further as she quickened her pace; Hiccup was forced to hop along or be dragged.

Her home was not far from the forge, only being on the other side of the village square and a bit up the hill. When Dagur had attacked Berk and her parents' home – _her_ home – had been burned to the ground, her parents had not rebuilt with enough room for her. After all, at the time, she had been living on the Edge with her fellow Dragon Riders and it was impractical for her parents to waste resources on someone who wasn't even there. Besides, she had already been an adult then, well past marrying age, and independent of her parents. When she and the others had visited Berk, she either simply curled up in front of the hearth in her parents home, slept with Stormfly in the stables, or stayed with Hiccup and Stoick, if the Chief's guest room wasn't in use by a visiting diplomat. When the Edge had been abandoned, they had all returned to Berk for good and Astrid suddenly had no home to call her own. Hiccup, of course, offered his home immediately, but that only worked for so long; the Chief's home was where guests to the island stayed too, after all, and so any time someone from another island visited, Astrid had to find somewhere else to call home. There was also another problem with staying with the Chief; Hiccup and Astrid's relationship was not unknown to the village, and while it didn't bother either of them what the villagers knew about them, their living situation had reflected on the Chief. Some villagers had suggested that Stoick was going soft to allow such a breech in courting rituals with his son and his son's Lady. Hiccup had started building a house soon after these accusations began, which she later learned he had intended to be _their_ home, and he had proposed to her when he surprised her with it. In the time before their marriage ceremony, the home was Astrid's alone, though he had often come down to eat meals with her (always cooked by Hiccup or brought up from the Great Hall). With Stoick's death and Hiccup taking over as Chief, a delay had been put on their plans, but Hiccup had insisted that he had built the house for them and still intended to live in it with her and their future family, despite the Chief's family traditionally living up on the big hill. Valka, instead, would live there and Hiccup would move in with his wife, instead of the other way around, as it was traditionally done.

"Sit," Astrid said in a firm voice as she pulled Hiccup through the front door and over to a chair in front of the hearth. The fire had died hours ago, only red coals and embers remaining. She pushed her stupid betrothed down into the chair with force, and he grunted as he landed hard on his butt.

"M'lady…" Hiccup sighed, his voice slightly pleading. "Astrid, I'm fi—"

"Hiccup, I swear to Odin," Astrid growled, closing her eyes and balling her hands at her sides, her arms rigid. "If you finish that sentence, you will be a very cold man on our wedding night."

Despite the obvious anger behind her threat, Hiccup laughed, though the sound was weak. Furious, Astrid stomped away, finding her way through her front room in the dark, knowing every inch of the place by heart. How could she not, when she loved it so? When she had imagined such vivid daydreams of her future there, in that house, her stubborn, one-legged husband by her side and their children's laughter echoing through each room?

Astrid found the cabinet she was searching for with ease and pulled out several things, including a wooden bowl, a few sachets of various herbs, a roll of cloth stripping, and a ceramic jar of wound salve. Just as she turned back, the fire in the hearth flared to life, and she blinked a few times against the sudden light. When her vision cleared after a few seconds, she saw Hiccup leaning forward in his chair, shifting the wood and coals into life with the metal fire poker.

"Put the kettle on," Astrid said in a softer voice, seeing the tiredness and pain in Hiccup's expression. Her own stubbornness and the warmth of the fire was starting to put him more at ease, and he nodded and did what he was told without further argument.

"…I really didn't notice until a few days ago," Hiccup tried again after a few minutes of silence. Astrid had felt his eyes on her as she placed her armful of items on the table and began crushing herbs into the bowl and cutting up lengths of cloth, her back to him.

"Sure," Astrid replied, keeping her eyes on her work. She was still angry, but more than that… she was scared.

"I'll be more careful from now on."

"Of course."

"I've been meaning to make some adjustments to Stormfly's saddle rig, you know?"

"Okay."

"I told Bucket and Mulch that I would help them with their roof tomorrow, and I've got to install that lynchpin in the Great Hall door, but maybe for lunch, we could go down to the cove and—"

Astrid slammed her hands down on the table, almost knocking the bowl of herbs over. Clapping one hand to her mouth, she struggled to hold back the sob threatening to break free of her chest. "Stop it. Just stop."

"Astrid…" Hiccup sighed. There was a pause, and then she heard him shuffling, trying to stand.

Astrid's fraying control snapped.

Whirling around, she shoved Hiccup — already half standing on his one, wobbly leg — back down into the chair, falling after him and straddling his lap. She pounded her fists against his arms and chest — not nearly as hard as she could have, but hard enough that it definitely caught his attention. Hiccup struggled against her for a moment before catching her wrists in his hands, calling her name in a desperate voice. Astrid would have none of it; all she could see was ice, and pain, and death, and her whole world falling apart.

"You're so _stupid_!" Astrid shouted, unable to contain the sob that accompanied her words. She fought against his hold — damn him, being so deceptively strong — trying furiously to hit him again. "You have to—"

"I know, I know," Hiccup grunted, holding Astrid's wrists tightly and pulling her arms up above her head to keep her fists away from his face and body. He rolled his eyes a little, like he had heard this lecture before. "The chief has to be available for the village, and I can't do that, if I'm si—"

" _I don't care about the gods damned village_!" Astrid screeched, twisting her body desperately to get out of his grasp. "What would I do without you, Hiccup?!"

This seemed to catch Hiccup off guard, and his hands loosened around her wrists. Astrid jerked them back out of his grasp, but instead of hitting her husband-to-be again, she tucked her arms and hands against her chest, and then pressed herself to Hiccup, her head hiding in the crook of his neck as she silently cried.

"Astrid…" Hiccup sighed after a moment of tense silence, and Astrid sniffled, hating how weak she was being.

"Drago almost took you from me," she whispered, trembling as he slowly wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly to himself. "I was sure that you and Toothless…"

"We're fine, Astrid," Hiccup assured her in a quiet voice, pressing a reassuring kiss to the corner of her mouth, though she kept her head tucked into his neck, trembling with emotion. "You haven't lost us."

"I see it every night," she cried, the floodgates opening and all of her secret fears spilling out. " _Every night_. I see that ice coming at you, and then you're _gone_ , and I wake up, and I'm alone, and — and — and…"

Hiccup made a strange sound in the back of his throat, something between a gasp and a whimper, and hugged Astrid even tighter to himself, burying his face into her hair. "I'm here, M'lady. I'm here."

"You have to take care of yourself," Astrid sobbed, curling her stiff fingers into the front of his tunic. She grasped at him desperately, as if the man underneath her was just an illusion, and she would wake up in the dark to her cold, empty house, Hiccup eternally encased in ice… "You can't leave me."

"That's _not_ going to happen," Hiccup promised in a firm voice, his hands beginning to run up and down her back in an attempt to rub some heat into her shivering body. He nudged her cheek with his lips and nose, encouraging her to lean her head back to look up at him. Reluctantly, she did so, and was surprised to see his face glistening with a few tears of his own. "Hey… I'm here, okay? There'll always be a Hiccup and Astrid, remember?"

Astrid gave a watery laugh at the familiar line, but she could see the pain in his expression and feel the feverish heat radiating from his skin. Another choked sob escaped her throat, a bubble of snot popping from her nose, and she buried her face back into his neck, too angry and scared to care that she was snotting up her husband's tunic like a toddler would.

Husband…

"You're staying with me," Astrid stated in a firm whisper, her grip in his shirt tightening to jerk his body closer to hers. His arms tightened around her, caging her to his chest as his hand drifted to the base of her neck and the back of her head. She felt him tugging at the ties of her braid with practiced ease, and in seconds, her hair was falling loosely down her back. "I'm not letting you go."

"Astrid…" Hiccup breathed her name, a mix of love, passion, and a little bit of uncertainty in his tone. "I told you… I'm not going anywhere."

Astrid shook her head, leaning back just enough to press her lips and tongue boldly to Hiccup's slightly stubbly throat. Despite her stomach fluttering with fear and nervousness, she nipped at his skin lightly with her teeth, purposefully twisting her hips to drive her meaning home. "Stay with me. Don't leave me again."

"Ah… Astrid…" Hiccup's hands slid to her waist, clutching her tightly and pulling her closer to himself. She had felt his body react to her furious movements earlier, though she knew he was too honorable and proud to say anything, but Astrid knew that _he_ knew that she could feel him. Truthfully, she had felt his body react to hers many times throughout the years, but shyness and embarrassment kept the topic closed before they were together. After they had become an official couple, they shared everything together — at least verbally. While they had talked about what they felt, they hadn't acted any of it through; progressive Vikings or not, there were still courting rituals and rules to uphold. They'd agreed that they'd already broken enough rules to make their ancestors roll over in their pyres, so they should probably be good and save all physical intimacies — aside from kissing and cuddling, of course — for their wedding night. But now…

"Please stay with me," Astrid begged, trembling as she saw the ice in her mind's eye once more. She pressed her mouth to Hiccup's, kissing him deeply, relaxing when he responded with equal fervor. Pulling back just enough to speak, their lips brushing together, she spoke in a firm whisper. "Marry me right now."

Hiccup took a shaky breath, pressing his lips back to hers, his tongue licking lightly at her lips and greeting her own tongue in a smooth and intimate dance. His hands traveled slowly back up her body, ghosting lightly over her clothed and bound breasts, finally coming to a stop as they cupped Astrid's face, his thumbs gently brushing away her tears as their mouths parted. He grinned a little and Astrid laughed weakly as they noticed a string of spit still connecting them. He tilted his head forward to lick her mouth clean, and then sat back, his green eyes searching hers with a clear intensity. Astrid stared right back, her body limp in his lap, pliant and willing. Her own hands drifted from his chest and to his face, cupping his cheeks in a mirror of how her was holding her. After a minute, he seemed to find what he was looking for and leaned forward to capture her lips in his again, slow and chaste.

"Then I have a request, Wife," Hiccup said as he pulled back, his tone serious even as his expression was loving and a little mischievous.

"Anything, Husband," Astrid replied, grinning happily, butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.

Hiccup snickered a little, shaking his head, and Astrid felt the thigh of his bad leg shifting beneath her. She hadn't put much weight on it, but she _was_ surprised and slightly ashamed to realize that she had forgotten why they were here, in the first place. "I'm afraid my husbandly duties won't be quite what they could be, if we don't treat this first."

"I'm sorry!" Astrid gasped, moving to slip from his lap and gather the medicines from the table. As she stood, he reached over to the hearth and grabbed the fire poker, using its hook to swing the chimney crane holding the kettle out of the flames. Thanking him, Astrid covered her hand with a towel and pulled the kettle from the hook and tipped the boiling water into the bowl of herbs. After returning the kettle to the crane, she picked up a couple of the cloth strippings and carefully submerged them in the steeping tonic. "Do you want some mead? It will help with the pain."

"The last time I had mead, I nearly declared war on the Defenders of the Wing over a toy Dagur stole from me when I was 7."

Astrid snickered, remembering the incident vividly. "Well, I'm not suggesting that you get drunk."

"I also want to remember my wedding night with perfect clarity, thank you," Hiccup replied in an amused tone, laughing harder as Astrid blushed. "Astrid… if you would rather—"

"No," she laughed in response, smiling with pure happiness despite her nervous embarrassment. "I want to."

Hiccup's smile softened, his eyes burning with so much love and passion that it made Astrid a little weak in the knees. Where was the nervous and scrawny, little boy that had been her best friend? When had he become such a confident and handsome man?

 _Her_ man. Astrid's husband.

And she was _his_ woman. Hiccup's wife.

And like a dutiful wife, Astrid tended to her husband, cleaning and applying medicine to his wounds before wrapping them — a smidge tighter than what was necessary, just to remind him who _not_ to mess with.

. . .

Hiccup groaned in discomfort against the sunlight beating down on his closed eyelids, his head and body aching. Most of it was a very pleasurable ache, but his head and left leg (or what was left of it, anyway) were the mutineers to this party, and he wasn't happy about it. Turning away from the incessantly glaring sunlight, he reached out blindly for the other body in the bed that he knew was with him, wrapping his arms around her stomach and pulling her back into his embrace when he found her.

A scrabbling sound coming from the rooftop announced the presence of a flock of birds or, worse, a flock of—

"Ugh," Hiccup groaned again, burying his face in his wife's golden hair in an attempt to block out the sounds of warbling, out-of-tune Terrible Terror song coming from the rooftop. "Go away, you useless reptiles…"

"Hm…?" Astrid shifted in his arms, turning toward his voice. Hiccup loosened his hold on her, allowing her to turn over, which turned out to be a very nice thing, indeed, when she proceeded to wrap her own arms around him, pressing her naked front along the length of his. "…leg still hurt?"

Hiccup considered brushing her concern off, but the thought was brief as he remembered her distress from the night before. Instead, he sighed and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, nodding. "Yeah. I think I should work from home for a few days."

"Very good idea," Astrid murmured, snuggling herself closer into his warmth. Finally, Hiccup eased his eyes open, blinking against the brightness of the room, curtesy of the un-shuttered window on the wall to his back. He couldn't help but smile at the sleepy, blue eyes that met his, and he leant forward to lovingly nuzzle her nose with his. Her hand crept up his back and over his shoulder sensually before stopping to cup his face. "Your fever is gone. I still want you to take more willow bark tea throughout the day, just in case."

"Don't waste it all on me," Hiccup replied, tightening his arms around her and hugging her closer to his chest. "You never know when you'll need it."

" _I'm_ not the one walking around with an infected amputation, mister," Astrid said in a firm voice, poking him lightly in the chest and glaring him down.

"You'll need it soon enough," Hiccup laughed, nuzzling her again, despite her clear annoyance. His loving nature and insistent snuggles caused her grumpy expression to crack, and then she was laughing too, pressing their mouths together in an exuberant kiss.

"Was that some kind of sexual overture, Chief?" Astrid teased, waggling her eyebrows in playful suggestiveness. "Because I think you were rather tame last night — why would I need willow bark tea, hm?"

Hiccup sputtered indignantly, kicking out his remaining left leg to wrap around Astrid's own thigh, pulling it forward to hook over his hip. "Hey, I thought I did pretty well for working at a disadvantage!"

Astrid laughed again, pressing another kiss to Hiccup's mouth, deep, slow, and lazy. When she pulled back, she sighed in a slightly dreamy fashion. "You were amazing, Hiccup."

"That's not what I meant, though," Hiccup said after a moment of laughter and kissing. He grinned, stupid manly pride getting the better of him. "Just… I don't know… maybe in a couple of years, there'll be… you know… little feet running around the house."

"You just called the Terrors useless, and now you want to bring them inside?"

"Wha…?" Hiccup jerked his head back, surprised. "No! That's not what I—" Astrid laughed, loud and hard, snorting with giggles at the sour look he shot her. "Are you done?"

"I'm sorry," Astrid replied, trying weakly to subdue her remaining snickers. "The look on your face, though…"

"Ha ha," Hiccup rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but grin at the giddiness they were exuding. "I meant that you should keep some willow bark stored away for _yourself_ , you dork. To help ease any morning sickness."

"Oh, so the Dragon Master thinks he's managed to catch the missus on the first try, hm?" Astrid teased, leaning up to nip lightly at his neck, a shudder of desire traveling through his body.

"Well, I don't want to brag," Hiccup said in an overly arrogant voice, his hands beginning to wander his new wife's body in a way that he had only become familiar with the night before. "…but I'm pretty great and all, so…"

"Shut up and kiss me, Haddock."

"With pleasure, M'lady."

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